Worksheet #17: Setting Boundaries in Sex & Life
Worksheet #17: Setting Boundaries in Sex & Life
Trust me, better boundaries, better sex.
Boundaries may sound so unsexy and often feel a little challenging to talk about or even define. This worksheet is a guide I’ve put together to help you explore your personal boundaries and develop healthy boundaries in your dating and relationship life!
Step 1: Self-Reflection
Take a moment to reflect on your personal values and priorities. What are your non-negotiables when it comes to dating and relationships? Are there any areas where you feel uncomfortable or unsafe? Write down your thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper.
Step 2: Identify Your Boundaries
Now it's time to identify your boundaries. Start by considering the following areas:
Communication: How often do you want to communicate with your partner? What methods of communication are acceptable to you? What topics are off-limits?
Physical Touch: What is your comfort level when it comes to physical touch? What types of touch are acceptable to you? What are your boundaries around sexual activity? Do these change depending on your cycle, or how stressed you feel in daily life?
Emotional Intimacy: What is your comfort level when it comes to emotional intimacy? How much do you want to share with your partner? Are there any topics that are off-limits?
Write down your boundaries for each of these areas. Remember, it's important to set clear and healthy boundaries that feel comfortable for you. And know that it’s completely normal for them to change and evolve over time!
Step 3: Communicate Your Boundaries
Now that you've identified your boundaries, it's time to communicate them to your partner. Choose a time when you can have an open and honest conversation about your boundaries. Be clear and direct about what is and isn't acceptable to you.
Don’t launch into this conversation with your partner without warning. Instead, ask them ‘When’s a good time to talk to you about something that’s important to me?”, and set a time that suits you both. This ensures they are able to listen more effectively.
Step 4: Reassess Your Boundaries
As you continue to date and form a relationship with your partner, it's important to reassess your boundaries regularly. Are there any areas where you need to set stronger boundaries? Are there any areas where you can be more flexible? Check in with yourself to ensure that your boundaries are still serving you.
Step 5: Practice Self-Care
Setting and maintaining boundaries can be challenging, but it's essential for your physical, emotional, mental and sexual health. Remember to practice self-care, such as setting aside time for yourself, engaging in activities that bring you joy, and seeking support when you need it.