Sex Ed: 7 Tips To Level Up How You Go Down.
AKA, my top oral sex tips just in time for the weekend.
Okay let’s be honest, oral sex is an art form that can be as pleasurable for the giver as it is for the receiver themselves. But let’s be even more honest … not everyone is great at giving oral sex, and not everyone loves it (probably one of the reason’s they’re not great at it).
In my opinion, going down on a lover can be a truly intimate and sacred ritual, and the more we embrace every aspect of it, the more we love it.
Here’s some practical tips to support you to truly enjoy the experience:
Embrace the person you are with wholeheartedly.
Each person has their own unique scent, taste and sound - this is part of their true sexual essence (and it’s normal for all of these things to change throughout the day, months and years). The more you embrace every aspect of them, the more you will enjoy oral sex (and the more they will enjoy receiving). There’s nothing hotter than having a lover who embraces us just the way we are. And FYI, owner’s of vulva’s and penis’s KNOW when their lover isn’t enjoying oral sex... so don’t do it unless you want to. Seriously, do something else if oral sex isn’t your thang.
Take. Your. Time.
Harder and faster is not always better (especially if you’re going down on a vulva). Build anticipation by exploring every part of your lover’s body with your nose, lips, tongue, and whole face - get to know their sensitive spots, the ones that make them feel deeply. Once you’ve explored their entire body, slowly work your way to their vulva/pussy/yoni/penis/cock (you choose what you’d like to call their genitals). SLOW is the key word here. Slow, Slow, Slow.
Let go of the idea that oral sex is 'foreplay'.
It's easy to want to race into penetrative sex to get to the big finale (we’ve all done it). However don’t forget that oral sex can also be the main event, and it's up to you to make the main event EPIC. Take your time. Savour each touch, each sound, each wave of erotic, orgasmic energy. And give without expecting anything in return. Now that’s hot, right?
Listen and be fully present.
Pay close attention to your lover's sounds, breath and body language. When you are fully present, you will notice changes in their breathing and pleasure sounds - these are telltale signs they are enjoying themselves (or not, either way). Follow their subtle signs and sounds … practice makes perfect.
The wetter, the better.
Even though your partner may produce natural lubrication (and obviously our spit does a really great job), don't underestimate the power of a high-quality natural lubricant for taking your oral game to the next level! Lube increases pleasure by reducing friction and increasing sensation (especially if you’re using your fingers or a sex toy while exploring with your tongue). We recommend a 100% natural lube that’s good enough to eat. Or organic coconut oil is also a really great option (and personal favourite).
Communicate.
Remember that every person varies in what they want and need when it comes to receiving oral sex (some people may not want it all at, which is completely okay too). The best way to discover how to give your lover a beautiful experience is by talking about it.
Take out the end goal of orgasm.
Let go of the need to make your lover cum loud and hard. They may enjoy feeling orgasmic energy in their body, they may not … but to feel like you are just licking and sucking hard ’n fast to ‘make then cum’ isn’t always a turn on. Presence, slowness and a genuine desire to be in the moment is what is guaranteed to be a turn on. Complements too, we all love a complement, especially about our genitals!